Check out my Black Triangles P05K™ Waist Pockets disguised to look like a Belt Skirt. Made from slimming fabric, it hugs your hips like the existential dread you can't shake.
The wide waistband ensures it stays put, even if your life doesn't. With four large pockets—two in the front and two in the back—you'll be ready for anything, from an unexpected zombie apocalypse to just running from your daily dose of chaos.
It’s hands-free, so you can carry all your essential survival gear while fleeing from the latest disaster.
Wear it over pants or skirts, because who knows what you'll throw on this morning? And hey, no fasteners mean one less thing to worry about in your already toaster fire of a life.